Since I was a little girl, I remember feeling so deeply towards other people's emotions. If my friend was upset, I would feel their emotions in my entire body. My heart would flutter, my mind would race, my soul would feel a tightness. I can't fully explain it, but all I know is that my friend who was upset REALLY affected how I was feeling. I would go out of my way to try and make my friend's situation better. No matter the cost.
This behavior was poison. I would find myself bending over backwards, wanting to please and make other people happy, even if these people were not genuine friends. I felt sick to my stomach if someone was mad at me. I would try make other's happy even if it wasn't fulfilling my own happiness.
Since my divorce, I was able to shed a few toxic people in my life. I used to care so much about losing friends, even when they didn't really care about me. By remaining friends with toxic people, I was not being genuine to myself or to them. I knew this had to change and since the huge shift in my life with the divorce I knew it was time to really work on myself.
I am 35 years old and I have only just begun the hard work of self-love. I am learning how to protect my energy and that not everyone is deserving of my time or space. I of course do not believe I am better or above anyone. I just understand now that it is so important to protect your aura. To not let just anybody come into your space and absorb your precious energy.
It is NEVER too late to begin loving yourself. For me, loving myself consists of:
taking the leap into learning more about crystal healing and the metaphysical world
opening a little shop where I can offer products that I love and feel passion for
learning to ask for help and to say no to things that do not serve me
exercising on a regular basis
yoga and practicing meditation
working with a counsellor in EMDR therapy
protecting my energy by choosing who I hang out with and when
How are you loving yourself right now? Have you had experience with being overly empathetic to a point where you no longer felt authentic? Would love to hear your stories in the comments below!